We are proud to offer these package deals to encourage your business. Bring a friend! Bring two! Bring hitchhikers! C'mon down and enjoy everything the swamp has to offer!
Search parties for lost guests may incur additional fees. This is a swamp, bodies will float unless thoroughly trapped. Not responsible for animal assaults. Don't bother the critters and they might not bother you.
I didn't like the yelling or the gun shots, couldn't get any sleep. There aren't any non-smoking accomodations. The drink is vile and the food worse: I got food poisoning and had it from both ends. I needed a vacation after getting back from this "resort". Avoid at all costs.
— Terence, Never Coming Back